The Plagiarist
It's hard to describe what I see through these eyes..
I write and speak to be plagiarised..
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Our past is just that - the past. Nothing we can say or do will ever change the events that are now behind us. What we can change, however, is how we let those events affect us in the present. Rather than dwelling on the bad circumstances, dwell on the good. Instead of viewing a bad relationship as just that - be grateful for what’s learned from it. Our past is there to help shape us into self-improving human beings. The lessons we learn serve as warnings. They aren’t there to teach us to live in fear, but rather to just be more careful before diving head first into a situation. I often see people allow one tragic event affect how they live out the rest of their lives. It’s nothing short of cheating yourself. Embrace the bad. The majority of the time, it can always be so much worse. Me? I never want to stop learning. I never want to stop growing. There’s always room for improvement.
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This is my puppy Sadie last year… back when she was sweet and not such an asshole.
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- me: Oh, I do not like broken glass pie. The shards stab my mortal soft cheek flesh and it is not pleasant. it is similar to biting your lip, which is almost the worst thing in the world.
- I will tell tales of complete truth
- You may not remember this, because you were nothing but a mere little boy
- but there was once the village aardvark who, everyone knew, was infested with aids
- Except you of course... you did not know
- because you were pretty much...retarded
- Anywho
- So, I remember, you and I were on the playground one fine evening making mud pies and playing barbies
- After a while, I got bored and I bet you 10 tonka trucks that you wouldnt have sex with the village aardvark
- but you wanted those tonka trucks
- boy...how you wanted them
- after much effort of catching the blind aardvark, you proceeded to have your way with it
- and then
- I, being the bitch that I am...
- told you that you had contracted the deadly AIDS virus
- and that I didn't really have the 10 Tonka trucks I'd promised
- and even if I did, I wouldn't have given them to you
- Jesse: That was beautiful
- If that was in fact the end...
- me: So...the moral of the story is.
- Not only do you have teh Aids
- you have no tonka trucks either
- That was the end
- Jesse: And I am apparently into handicapped animal sex
- me: and tonka trucks
- Jesse: Tonka trucks are fine, but fucking Aardvarks is kinda uncool
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- Jesse: mornin
- me: Why do they call them "navy beans"
- I've never heard of army beans
- or air force beans
- Why is that branch so special
- Jesse: thats a good question. I guess because beans are gay
- naturally, navy is the choice
- me: My dad was in the Navy
- Jesse: how awkward
- me: My dad is also dead
- so theres that
- More awkward?
- Jesse: ha, yeah
